I would still be caring for you and your family as I normally would, but she would be observing and helping as she is able.
If you are interested, please let me know.
Good people...... I'm looking for a family or two who would be willing to let an aspiring doula observe the process from start to finish to see if this is something that may be doable for her and her family.
I would still be caring for you and your family as I normally would, but she would be observing and helping as she is able. If you are interested, please let me know.
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I'm not a big fan of credit cards because, well, they can be evil. But I realize that's just because I like to shop and don't much care for when the bill comes my way....
For those of you who could use the flexibility of paying your doula fees via credit card and don't deal with PayPal, I'm happy to announce that I can take credit card payments in person or over the phone via www.squareup.com. *** More blog goodness coming later this week. I'm a busy girl this week! Do you love Arbonne? The first comment on this post will receive 40% off a pure, safe, beneficial (did I mention vegan?) Arbonne product of their choice.
Don't know what Arbonne is? Let's talk! It wasn't that long ago that my world was a simpler place. I stayed at home with da boyz, rocked out some serious yoga pant action, the husband worked random hours, and it was my deal to keep the house in some sort of order. The house may not often have been clean.... but it certainly didn't look like a bomb had blown up.
I have been busy. Really busy. And I've been steadily gone for the past week, bringing home the bacon and all of that. That's good for our family--really good for our family, because we really like living in our house and eating food! However, Mr. Mom is apparently not a concept the husband is embracing just yet. I wish I could, without shame, show you what the house looks like at this very moment. Actually, I probably will go take pictures just to prove a point before I hike up my sleeves and dive into the archaelogical dig that is going to be de-man-caving my house... Will you get to see those? Not likely. If it didn't suck the essence of life out of me every time I stepped in the door, and if I wasn't worried about my babysitter getting tetanus when she comes over next, I'd be tempted to leave it as some kind of science experiment. I can see it now: "If you look very closely, you'll see one of the native creatures has popped his head ever so slightly above that mound of dirty laundry over there... Uh-oh, I think he is looking for his next meal and has caught our scent..." Take that, National Geographic! I just can't leave the mess, though, which feels like the men have won some sort of game I wasn't aware we were playing. Sigh. I'm not pregnant, and this place makes me conversely want to nest until I collapse from sheer exhaustion or light a match while some heavy metal ballad plays as I walk away. I totally get that my husband is not a cleaner. Take one look at his garage and you'll know even if you know nothing else about him. But maybe he needs to learn to be that kind of person--at least a little bit more. So, ladies and gents.... My question to you is, how do you encourage your partner to clean up when you're away? Besides the tried-and-true screaming match, that is. I would really, really love some ideas because this seems to be the one thing that is an issue with our current "arrangement". PS - Guess who I found tinkering around in the garage when I rolled in at 11 p.m. last night? That's right.... Isn't it amazingamazingamazing! the kind of crazy stuff we will let come out of our mouths sometimes? The things that we say to people around us because we think our frankness endears us to everyone we meet? Sometimes your experience is just that--YOUR EXPERIENCE. In fact, most of the time that's the case. It's amazing what you will see happen in those around you when you stop giving them advice they're not asking for and...... listen..... Maybe they are asking you for advice and you are answering them from the wrong place in your heart. Listen. Maybe you don't have the answers. Listen.
I am daily amazed at the steady stream of horrors my pregnant friends and clients are subjected to. Do you know how you are watering the seed of fear that many women hide deep in their minds? In your quest of perhaps healing your own wounds or flashing your badges of honor, you are adding tension and pain to these other women, possibly endangering herself and her unborn children. Speak encouragment and words to strengthen and build up. But, most of all, and if nothing else.... listen. Recently I had the privilege of meeting with a couple over coffee to discuss their desire to have a non-medicated VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) in one of our local hospitals. This couple was now very educated about the choices they would be presented with during birth, but at the expense of having been talked into that prior c-section.
Gritting my teeth, I asked them at which hospital they planned to birth. In my mind, I was picturing the hospitals in the area where it sometimes feels like expectant families are bound and gagged until all is said and done--where the staff marvels when someone gives birth without all the hoopla because it's so rarely seen. I imagined the rough tone of the nurse who feels threatened by my presence because, surely, I'm going to make this a miserable night for her in the name of empowerment and all things crunchy. When they told me the facility name, I instantly smiled, did a mental fist-pump, and relaxed. Their chosen hospital was a place, in my experience, where they likely had a shot at being allowed to give her body a chance to do this! Yes! But not all families in this area are so lucky... for many reasons. Sometimes they don't really do thorough investigation into what their care providers really and truly believe, or take the time to talk to others who have gone to these hospitals with a VBAC as their initial goal. They go to appointments where the doctor--who, let's face it--is promoting her/himself because s/he's running a business. The doctor says, "Yes! I support you in that goal!" and then changes their tune come birthing time, utterly and completely blindsiding the expectant family. Or maybe the mother already knows well in advance that her provider is not supportive of her choice to have a VBAC. Maybe she has been told there is no way they will allow her to attempt a normal delivery under any circumstance. Does she stay in that practice, kowtow, and resign herself to the removal of choice? These calls are not mine to make, obviously. I am sympathetic to the kinds of calls that medical providers must make every day, as well as the enormous legal issues breathing down their necks. I like to believe that doctors and nurses really do care what happens to their patients' minds, as well as their bodies--that there is any regard to the psychological impact of birth of a family unit, as a whole. Is that Pollyanna-ish? Maybe. But, I fear I'm straying from the topic. My point is: Identify the kind of birth experience you have in mind and do your homework to see if this provider or this facility can truly provide the support you will need to have those goals even as a possibility. For example, an intervention-happy physician is not likely to "change their spots" to suit you, if you are looking for low-intervention birth. That's not to say that your doctor or hospital might be a great place, but maybe not a good fit for you at this time. Best of luck as you put together the puzzle pieces of your birth experience! I am home today. All blessed, glorious day. For the first time in a really long time. With a knowing smile on my face, I put on my stretchiest stretch pants, old brown t-shirt with that grease stain that I never could get out in the wash, and miserable old Disney hoodie proclaiming "GRUMPY" in bold letters across the chest. Oh, I'm pretty, alright. I think I actually heard my body say, "aaahhhhh. That'sa good." Let this be a lesson to you--call first. If any of you chose to show up on my doorstep today, I promise I will look scary. Don't judge.
My husband and I joke that my super-power is the ability to change into pajamas in the blink of an eye, just as soon as I step through the door of our house. At least, I think it's a joke. Sometimes even I am impressed with how quickly I can change into my super-hero costume. Maybe there's more to that super-power stuff.... What's your ridiculous "super-power"? Please tell me I'm not the only one! Maybe you can roll your tongue--and, let's face it, people who can roll their tongues are just plain weird. Maybe you have the dialogue of every Brady Bunch episode catalogged in your noggin. I think it's safe to say that the world deserves to know about that if you do. So, 'fess up! Whatcha got? No, Michael. I do not want your help driving traffic to my website. Or to make $30. Or to do data-entry to earn money from my home. That's what I have my Nigerian sugar daddy for.
Blog silence, at least. I'm convinced there's never truly any silence in my home. Maybe you can relate? At any rate, I felt like it was time to write something just to break the silence and maybe create some conversation. It gets lonely on here when all y'all are doing is READING. Comment, people, comment! ;)
This week has been extra-specially filled with birthy goodness, which is such a welcome thing when birth is your profession. I participated in prenatal appointments all day on Monday with the midwife, another prenatal on Thursday, and a beautiful waterbirth homebirth on Wednesday morning. I also attended a HypnoBirthing class for extra birth hypnosis education Wednesday evening. Yesterday I had the chance to read an entire book (granted, it was only about 120 pages, certainly no War and Peace) on helping families in the postpartum period. I also had to head over to the office-supply store to make up some copies of my client information books because I'm becoming busy enough where my 3-ring binder system is no longer practical. Aaaaaand this morning I got up early and drove--in the beautiful and rare Michigan sunshine--over to meet with a potential new client. Good things. Good things. Nothing scheduled for tomorrow, except for maybe some reading. So, party people, what have you been up to? Overheard tonight at a local birthing center's "Meet the Midwives" event: "Can we eat during labor? 'Cause I am like a hungry hungry hippo during labor."
Man, I love that game! I'm guessing it's not as fun as she's makin' it sound! |
JenDoula, wife, mother of four, equestrienne, comedian, dreamer.... Archives
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