Gritting my teeth, I asked them at which hospital they planned to birth. In my mind, I was picturing the hospitals in the area where it sometimes feels like expectant families are bound and gagged until all is said and done--where the staff marvels when someone gives birth without all the hoopla because it's so rarely seen. I imagined the rough tone of the nurse who feels threatened by my presence because, surely, I'm going to make this a miserable night for her in the name of empowerment and all things crunchy.
When they told me the facility name, I instantly smiled, did a mental fist-pump, and relaxed. Their chosen hospital was a place, in my experience, where they likely had a shot at being allowed to give her body a chance to do this! Yes!
But not all families in this area are so lucky... for many reasons. Sometimes they don't really do thorough investigation into what their care providers really and truly believe, or take the time to talk to others who have gone to these hospitals with a VBAC as their initial goal. They go to appointments where the doctor--who, let's face it--is promoting her/himself because s/he's running a business. The doctor says, "Yes! I support you in that goal!" and then changes their tune come birthing time, utterly and completely blindsiding the expectant family.
Or maybe the mother already knows well in advance that her provider is not supportive of her choice to have a VBAC. Maybe she has been told there is no way they will allow her to attempt a normal delivery under any circumstance. Does she stay in that practice, kowtow, and resign herself to the removal of choice?
These calls are not mine to make, obviously. I am sympathetic to the kinds of calls that medical providers must make every day, as well as the enormous legal issues breathing down their necks. I like to believe that doctors and nurses really do care what happens to their patients' minds, as well as their bodies--that there is any regard to the psychological impact of birth of a family unit, as a whole. Is that Pollyanna-ish? Maybe. But, I fear I'm straying from the topic.
My point is: Identify the kind of birth experience you have in mind and do your homework to see if this provider or this facility can truly provide the support you will need to have those goals even as a possibility. For example, an intervention-happy physician is not likely to "change their spots" to suit you, if you are looking for low-intervention birth. That's not to say that your doctor or hospital might be a great place, but maybe not a good fit for you at this time.
Best of luck as you put together the puzzle pieces of your birth experience!